The Hidden Social Cost of Becoming a First-Time Parent

Becoming a parent is often described as one of the most transformative experiences in a person’s life. It’s a time filled with joy, new responsibilities, and deep emotional bonds with a child. But what’s often left unsaid is how parenthood reshapes social relationships.

For many first-time parents, friendships change dramatically—some fade, some struggle, and new ones emerge under different circumstances.

Our recent survey of over 150 first-time parents reveals striking insights into the often-overlooked social costs of becoming a parent, shedding light on how friendships evolve, the realities of social isolation, and the struggle to find a sense of belonging in the parenting world.

Who We Talked To

The parents who responded to our survey are largely navigating the early years of raising their first child, with nearly half (47.1%) parenting a 1-2-year-old and many others caring for infants under a year old. Most are in committed relationships, with 43.9% married, balancing their evolving family dynamics with their social lives. Work is also a key factor in their daily routines, as 47.8% of respondents are employed full-time, while others juggle part-time work, remote jobs, or stay-at-home parenting. These parents are in the thick of adjusting to the demands of early parenthood—managing careers, relationships, and friendships while striving to stay connected in a phase of life that often feels isolating.

8 Key Takeaways

• Social interaction drops significantly after becoming a parent.76% of respondents said they see their friends less often than before having children.

• 61% of respondents feel they’ve lost touch with close friends since becoming a parent—an emotional shift that many describe as disconnection or feeling left behind.

• The top three barriers to maintaining friendships are:

  • Lack of time (82%)

  • Exhaustion (67%)

  • Friends without kids not relating to their life anymore (58%)

• 45% of parents report feeling socially isolated, with 23% describing that isolation as significant or severe.

• 47% of respondents say they’ve struggled to make new parent friends, even though they express a strong desire to connect with others in similar stages of life.

• Most parent-to-parent interactions happen in local settings, such as neighborhoods (42%), parenting groups (47%), and daycare/preschool communities (31%).

• 65% of respondents have joined online parenting communities, but many say these don’t fully replace in-person friendships.

• The top things parents say would help them feel more connected are:

  1. More time to socialize (69%)

  2. More opportunities to meet other parents locally (58%)

  3. Better tools or platforms to manage parenting relationships

The Great Friendship Shift: Before and After Parenthood

Friendships often serve as a support system, providing companionship and emotional support. However, the transition to parenthood disrupts these social structures in profound ways. According to our survey, 76% of parents reported seeing their friends far less frequently after having children compared to before. 

Prior to parenthood, 42% of parents described their social lives as highly active, with frequent in-person and virtual interactions. However, after becoming parents, the majority (68%) noted a stark drop in socialization, with many citing “rarely” or “a few times a month” as their new norm.

The top reasons cited for this decline in social interaction included:

• Lack of time (82%): Parents are juggling childcare, work, and household responsibilities, leaving little bandwidth for social outings.

• Exhaustion (67%): Many parents struggle with sleep deprivation and energy levels, making socializing feel like another task rather than an enjoyable experience.

• Friends without kids don’t relate (58%): A common challenge is that friendships with non-parent friends can become strained, as lifestyles and priorities diverge. Parents often feel misunderstood or excluded from social plans that no longer accommodate their new reality.

Losing Touch with Close Friends

One of the most emotionally impactful findings from our survey is that 61% of first-time parents feel they have lost touch with close friends since becoming parents. While some report maintaining their friendships at a reduced frequency, others feel these relationships have faded almost entirely.

What’s even more telling is the emotional response to these changes. Many parents described feeling “disconnected,” “left out,” or “like I exist in a different world now.” The reality is that friendships, especially long-term ones, require consistent effort, and when parenthood consumes so much of one’s time and energy, relationships often suffer.

For parents who do maintain friendships, the dynamic often changes. Many find themselves gravitating toward other parents who understand the challenges of sleepless nights, feeding schedules, and developmental milestones. However, forming new friendships in adulthood—especially those built around parenting—comes with its own challenges.

The Social Isolation Factor

While parenthood brings families closer together, it can also be an isolating experience. Our survey found that 45% of parents feel socially isolated since becoming parents, with 23% describing their isolation as severe.

One respondent noted, “I didn’t realize how lonely parenthood could be until I was in it. I’m always with my child, but I miss having real conversations with my friends.” This sentiment was echoed across multiple responses, highlighting that social isolation isn’t just about losing touch with friends—it’s also about feeling a lack of meaningful connection with others in general.

Interestingly, social isolation was more commonly reported among parents who struggled to make new parent friends. Those who managed to connect with other parents—whether through neighborhood meetups (39%), daycare (31%), or parenting groups (47%)—reported lower levels of isolation and a greater sense of social support.

Making New Parent Friends: The Struggles and Opportunities

Making new friends as an adult is already challenging, but when parenthood enters the picture, it becomes even more nuanced. 43% of parents in our survey reported struggling to make new parent friends, despite wanting to. 

The biggest obstacles to forming these new connections include:

• Limited opportunities (55%): Outside of daycare drop-offs and local playgrounds, parents often struggle to find places to meet other parents organically.

• Lack of time to socialize (61%): The same barriers that prevent parents from maintaining old friendships also make it difficult to cultivate new ones.

• Social anxiety or hesitation (37%): Not all parents feel comfortable striking up conversations with other parents in public settings, leading to missed opportunities for connection.

However, those who do successfully make parent friends find that these relationships become vital sources of support.

The most common places where parents report interacting with others include:

• Neighborhoods and local communities (42%)

• Parenting groups (both in-person and online) (47%)

• Daycare and preschool networks (31%)

• Social media groups (28%)

The Role of Online Parenting Communities

The digital age has provided new ways for parents to connect. Our survey revealed that 65% of parents turn to online parenting groups and social networks for support and advice, but the effectiveness of these platforms is mixed.

While platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp have become common spaces for parents to share experiences, they don’t always fulfill the need for real-life connection. Many respondents noted that while these groups provide useful parenting tips, they don’t replace in-person friendships. Some even described them as “overwhelming” or “judgmental,” showing that not all online communities provide the level of support parents need.

How Can Parents Feel More Connected?

When asked what would help them feel more socially connected, parents overwhelmingly pointed to more time to socialize (69%) and better opportunities to meet other parents in their area (58%). This suggests that while the desire for connection is strong, logistical barriers prevent many parents from forming and maintaining meaningful friendships.

Parents also expressed a need for a dedicated space to organize and maintain their parenting-related social networks. Unlike professional platforms like LinkedIn or general social networks like Facebook, there’s no widely used platform designed specifically to help parents connect based on their needs, location, and experiences. This highlights a significant gap in the market—one that innovative solutions like VISIBLE aim to address.

Why This Conversation Matters

The conversation around the social impact of parenthood is more important than ever. In a world that increasingly emphasizes digital connections, parents need both online and offline spaces that support their evolving social needs. The transition to parenthood shouldn’t mean losing friendships or feeling isolated—it should come with new ways to build and maintain meaningful relationships.

As we continue to explore the realities of modern parenting, it’s essential to bring awareness to these hidden social costs and advocate for better solutions. Whether that means designing new parenting networks, creating more local community-based events, or simply normalizing conversations about social isolation in parenthood, change starts with acknowledging the problem.

Have you experienced changes in your friendships and social life after becoming a parent?

We’d love to hear your thoughts—join the conversation and share your experience.